The Israel-hunting Lobby

March 13th, 2006


The Labour Government has tried to ban hunting with hounds, but without success. Packs of dogs still go hunting, under the pretext that they are engaged in a non-violent sport, like hound trailing. The Sabeel Pack, for instance, pretends it is merely chasing after the scent of Zionism, when its real prey is the Jews.

The pack got very excited recently, when Farmer Rowan Williams got into his Caterpillar tractor, thinking he was going to drive over Israel with it, leaving them to feast on the road-kill. Imagine their rage when he was prevented!

The hounds yelped angrily with frustration, baying for blood as they raged around in their cage. Now one of the hounds has broken loose, and is racing across to England, in the hope of catching its prey.

Bishop Riah Abu El Assal, Anglican Bishop of Jerusalem, is coming to London next Thursday to speak appeal for churches to campaign against investing in unethical companies operating in Israel.

The hunt “hosted by the Amos Trust and Palestine Solidarity Campaign takes place on Thursday 16th March from 7.30-9pm at All Hallows on the Wall, 83 London Wall, London EC2M 5ND.”

Their teeth are specially sharpened for the occasion.

The Protocols of the Elders of Sabeel

March 12th, 2006


In a gloomy subterranean chamber, several miles below the Sabeel Centre, shrouded figures sit around a large stone table. A few misshapen candles provide a dim and flickering light, and cast large shadows of the Elders on the rough cave walls rising high above them.

Revd Naim Ateek is addressing the cloaked participants:

“It is with great satisfaction that I have to tell you of the growing success of the plans of our controllers, the Elders of Palestine. They - we - recently managed to gain entrance to a Catholic University, called Georgetown…” he smiles at the murmurs of congratulation around him. “There we started to implement the Protocols of the Elders of Sabeel, as instructed by our Masters.”

A door opens in the cave wall, allowing a brief view of massive flames, and a sound of screaming coming from hundreds of tiny figures within them, before the door is closed again, cutting out the disturbing sights and sounds. A figure has slipped in to join the meeting, putting a pitchfork neatly into an umbrella stand, before sitting down discreetly at the table, as though not to disturb the proceedings. Glowing slightly like an ember, he opens a briefcase, bringing out some papers, which scorch slightly at his touch.

Revd Ateek bows ingratiatingly towards him: “And of course, the Master of our Masters.” The figure nods briefly in acknowledgement.

Ateek continues: “Instructions have been given to our new Christian neophytes:”

8. First Impressions
The way you walk, the ways you talk are all very important
“Look Christian”

“Study Christian Culture, understand it, so you can create Christian solidarity to then reach out to Palestinian solidarity.”

Wear conservative dress-do not go with jeans and sneakers. Wear a suit, with a button down shirt, and/or Khakis.

Women should be modest and conservative, with dresses to your knees; however, colored pantyhose are OK.

“Our Masters in the Elders of Palestine wanted us to demand that dresses reach from the ankle to the top of the head, but we thought Christians might be suspicious, so we shortened the dress length a little.”

9. Frame the Issue
How you look and talk are important, Become part of their family, proper grooming is a must, and maintain a friendly and a good social demeanor.” “Become the Ned Flanders (Simpson’s character) of your church”

Avoid profane language. Ban language that does not fall into the values of a Christian home. Otherwise you will not be taken seriously.

Mind your manners – “say “G-d blesses you” when someone sneezes. “Hi, How are you”, and show solidarity, and act “Christian like”.

The Elders nod approvingly. The glowing visitor is puzzled by the Simpsons’ reference: “We don’t get the Simpsons here,” he explains softly. “They only show that in The Other Place.”

10. Come bearing Gifts
Everyone love gifts, and the Holy land is important to all Christians. Get a gift of a rosary, or holy water, and then tell them about the plight of the Christians in Palestine. This is a good way to raise money as well, to sell the items in Church to help the Christians in the holy land feed their children, they will love this, and it brings them closer to the origin on their religion.

11. The Holy Land Foundation
The Holy Land Foundation gives gifts, use them, they have ideas and are helpful.

12. The role of Sex
Use your sexuality to your advantage…

The glowing figure coughs, warningly. “We don’t allow that here, either. It can be used to guide humans to this place, but it is forbidden once they arrive here. Kindly do not mention it again.”

Ateek continues to address his approving audience. You can read more from the Protocols of the Elders of Palestine and of Sabeel here

“Finally, we have great hopes that these methods will boost the divestment campaign among the Churches. Then the shared ambition of the Elders of Sabeel, our Masters in the Elders of Palestine and, of course” – bowing towards the figure who glows like an ember – “our ultimate Master.” His voice rises with excitement. “That is - the destruction of the Jewish State!” The group murmurs eagerly, “And then – the destruction of the Jewish people!” Cheering and applause break out.

The glowing figure picks up his briefcase, collects his pitchfork and opens the door. Silhouetted against the flames, and barely audible against the screams, he says, softly: “I’ll see you again, my people,” before the door closes, the candles are suddenly snuffed by a cold draught, and the group is left sitting in darkness.

Catholic Whispers about a Jewish Musician

March 10th, 2006


Rocco Palmo of Whispers in the Loggia is normally busy giving us all the very latest Catholic gossip – sometimes almost before it happens. He must be a big fan of Matisyahu, as he has broken into his usual non-stop news-gathering to give his musical hero’s album a plug.

We now interrupt our normal programming for this special announcement: G-d's favorite Reggae singer has released his second album.

Rocco knows his fellow Catholics.

To think: a Hasidim of Crown Heights singing the music of Jamaica.... That sound you hear: the heads of SSPXers, exploding.

SSPXers are, of course, members of the Society of St Pius X, who reject the teaching of the Catholic Church since the Second Vatican Council, like Nostra Aetate, which marked a major change in Catholic attitudes to Jews.

Actually, it doesn’t take much to make the heads of such people explode.

Also, guaranteed to make a few other heads explode, if they read it:

For example, one Matisyahu track from his first album -- Aish Tamid -- is "about the destruction of the Temple, and the eventual building up of the Third Temple that [Jews] are waiting for." And, to an outsider, it's absolutely glorious....

For Christian anti-Semites, whether they lean to the far right, like SSPX, or the far left, like Sabeel, whose liberation theology is manured with Marxism, a singer like Matisyahu will cause explosions of the head. Not because of his music, which is excellent, but because the singer is a deeply religious member of a certain People.

The Sabeel pack snarls, barks, threatens to bite Church of England

March 9th, 2006


Just when certain anti-Semites thought they were driving the Church of England, like some enormous Caterpillar bulldozer, towards Israel, in the hope of demolishing it, the Ethical Investment Advisory Group (EIAG) has put the brakes on and stopped the mighty machine.

This has caused enraged growling and barking from Sabeel, War on Want and the Amos Trust They are not going to give up their divestment project without a fight, however, and are now threatening to release a pack of parishes on the Anglican Church, who will maul it financially by withdrawing their money.

Garth Hewitt from the Amos Trust told Ekklesia; "I am frankly puzzled by EAIG's attitude. If they are saying we can ignore the position of the Synod then who runs the church? The only option is for people to withdraw their money to another body that is ethically acceptable."

Oh, how disappointing Garth – just when you imagined that the Sabeel Pack as good as runs the Church, or at least can successfully manipulate the unacknowledged prejudices of Synod members.

Rev Stephen Sizer, Vice Chair of Friends of Sabeel UK, criticised the group for making the decision before visiting Palestinian Christians, as Synod had requested, and seeing the destruction caused by the Caterpillar machines. He told Ekklesia: “This is a precipitous and premature decision, which fails to heed the call from Synod.”

"They have dug themselves into a hole" Sizer continued, "and it appears that they are only partly controlled by the Church of England. They appear to be trying to distance themselves from the Synod's decision and viewpoint. There appear to be other interests at work here, besides those of the Church."

Oh the frustration, Stephen! After the anti-Israel campaigners hi-jacked the Synod meeting, presenting the letter by Bishop “Being Jewish and being democratic is not possible.” Riah and suppressing the Israeli side of the story, so that nobody heard it.

“There appear to be other interests at work here, besides those of the Church."? You mean the Elders of Zion, perhaps? You know, the ones you believe control the world, the banks, the media, and perhaps even the Church of England?

Good news, but not for good reasons

March 8th, 2006


You can hear the grinding of journalistic teeth as you read Ekklesia breaking the news that the Anglican Church’s Ethical Investment Advisory Group has decided not to disinvest from Caterpillar after all.

Ekklesia describes itself as a Christian think tank, although as I’ve said before, it’s more like a septic tank sometimes. The contents of said tank keep spurting out onto the page, as the writer appears to suffer an irresistible impulse, almost like a nervous twitch, to angrily type Palestinian propaganda at frequent intervals.

Speaking of well-organised lying propaganda, and its success in finding fertile ground in the residual anti-semitic mud lurking in the souls of many Anglican Synod members, read more about the subject in The boycott of decency by Melanie Phillips.

It may appear to be good news, but the decision not to disinvest was not made for reasons that were just. What is more disturbing is that the Synod Bishops, presumably intelligent people, have allowed themselves to be swayed by the lies of people whose intentions are, ultimately, genocidal.

And, as so frequently pointed out, only Israel is treated in this fashion. Nick Cohen makes the point well in his article: Arson, rape, massacres … and the strange silence of the archbishop

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, made my point for me in Sudan last week. Anyone who had heard the Church of England’s censure of Israel might have expected to see a primate filled with righteous wrath. Consider his opportunities. While he was there, the genocide was continuing in Darfur. The victims were black Muslims, but strangely, the Muslim world has not revolted against the Islamist murderers and torched Sudanese embassies.

In the name of inter-faith solidarity, Dr Williams might have found the words of reproach they lacked. If he didn’t want to talk about Darfur, there was the decades-long civil war, which has seen the enslavement of the Christian Dinka tribe in the south and two million dead, more than in Bosnia, Rwanda and Kosovo combined.

On a visit to a church in Khartoum, the fearless archbishop told the congregation: ‘It will be a joy to share with fellow Christians in Britain what… I have learnt from you.’ What he had learnt was a history of massacre, slavery and second-class citizenship, but he didn’t mention it.

Don’t expect Ekklesia to point this out, either. They would rather applaud his condemnation of Guantanamo Bay - well that doesn’t take as much moral courage, does it?